Misinterpretation Aficionado Pillows

"That isn't what the doctor meant by 'push fluids'."

Desert Island BBQ

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"My guess it's guacamole."

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

Houdini.

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

A turkey displays a deck of cards.

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hang on, I'll Google it.

"Next, I will make the excitement and enthusiasm of the start of the school year disappear."

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

The Hypnotato,

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

Houdini's Dog.

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

Rabbits $5.

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

"What? The invitation said, wear your favorite mask."

Dog nail bed.

Houdini's first magic trick.

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

'If it's any consolation, I'm sorry I blew my top this morning.'