Misinformation Maestro Gifts

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Text Culture

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

He then drew a number of smaller pie charts behind the bigger chart. That helped to put it into perspective.

Target your message

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"You need to take the weak parts of your presentation and work them into something that won't get you fired."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

Children playing in the street

Communication Breakdowns

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

"When you quote a Presidential candidate, Gorman, you do not—I repeat—do not roll your eyes."

The original sundial.

These remarks are completely off the record

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"Cool game!"

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

"How do you respond to critics who claim you're just trying to scare people?"

"I learned that Moses partied on the Red Sea today."

A Dummy Corporation.