Make-believe Maestro Gifts

'A table for four please - she has an imaginary friend.'

"Because of your age, I'm going to recommend doing nothing."

Children playing in the street

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Orchestra.

Bassoons.

Charles Addams.

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

Computer Music

"Wow! You're a real good guesser, mom...that's exactly what we had at Jonny's party! Spaghetti an' cake an' ice cream!"

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

Edgar Allan Poe

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Bach in a Hot Tub!

Dog Dreams

The original sundial.

'My Death Story....chapter one...'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

A Dummy Corporation.

Someone being taught how to conduct an orchestra.

"But this way I know where everything is."

I got you a 20th anniversary present. An iPhone charger? An actual, real gift? What's the catch? House of Java Cybercafe. No catch. For the last 20 years, you've been the best whipping boy I've ever had. You're a complete tool of the technology industry. You've been a real pleasure to mock. In fact, the last 20 years of making fun of your pathetic life has made this two rewarding decades. Plug back in, whipping boy! I will outlast you, smelly old bat!

I wonder what the kids are up to at the lake. Your mom will keep her eyes on them. She won't let them get into trouble. Nothing gets by her! ZZZZ. Psst. My silence isn't free!

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

Martha Stewart at Home.

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

Questioning

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

"Oh, good! Lucille is sending me some stuff!"

I think the revolution's started - his room's in an awful mess!