Mishap Mellow Gifts

'What do you mean you left the keys on your dresser?!'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Your insurance just called. They don't cover 'having a bad day.'"

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

"You might need to remind Mrs. Sanders it's 'bring your DAUGHTER to work' day."

'Sorry'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

"The key is to keep the momentum going when you're establishing the base of the snowman..."

'I wish you'd told me your brother worked for the Mirror before we got him to do the wedding pictures.'

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 8

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

Discus accidents.

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

"He had his binoculars back to front!"

'I thought you'd like to know the cat got down from the roof by itself.'

Horse accidents

"Oh no - I've laminated my hand again. . . !!"

Miniature Golf.

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

"Maxwell, you idiot! You mailed copies of your last letter to our entire contact list."

'This time you hold the nail!'

No, Carl, I don't know of a cure for the hiccups.

Drawing board disaster.

'Just had to text and ride, didn't you?'

'Oh look! We must be coming into land at Heathrow.'

'I see you caught the fish, but the boat got away.'

"I count four... and there should be five."

'So there I was with the world at my feet - it was then I got frostbite.'