Mischievous Elf Mugs

"Then I ask the kids for their address and security system code – so's I won't trip the alarm."

"Remember, if you don't give me what I want, I know where you live!"

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

The Phantom Of The Garden

Meowlzebub

A pony throws its rider.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

Shop for cats

Pants Uglifier!

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

Killing Santa

How to avoid a heart attack.

Children playing in a library

How the Easter Bunny Spends Halloween.

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

Pandora's cat.

Last week revisited. Uncle Mort, want to come over to my place for Thanksgiving? Can't. Sadie and I are having it at her place. How nice of you. What? I'd love to. What can I bring? Beautifully played, no? She'll kill me. I'd love to. How nice.

Watch for Children.

"Check this out! My ew app imitates the sound of the door bell and makes the dog go berserk."

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

A planet like ours - "...you know I'm just playing with you before I kill you don't you?"

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...

'Must we invite the Hendersons? Their children never stop swarming ...'

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

What's wrong with the TV? IT keeps changing to the cartoons! (son sitting behind mom with the remote control).

'Luck I forgot my deodorant this morning.'

"Upcycled, re-purposed and resin dipped - that's how gran would have wanted to go."

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'