Crime-fighting Elf Mugs

"In this district constable, you can't be too careful!"

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Slow Night

Violent Crime Statistics

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

'Oh no! They've been pinched.'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

Christmas Chopin

Santa's Workshop: Moved to China

'Ugh. Every single day.'

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

"Don't fall for it, Dogman!"

A Gun Proposes to Violence.

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

Crime-Be-Gone - Fence-O-Matic!

"Policing's not what it was..."

'These police cuts have gone too far.'