Mirage Humorist Gifts

"You can't miss it - it's the third mirage on the left."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"This city is becoming unlivable."

'I think there's something wrong with the horizon, Doreen!'

Shark food pyramid.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

'..and one for the pot.'

High tide.

"You can find me on Inkedin."

Scene on the English coast.

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

"Is it just me, or is it humid up here?"

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"You're the only one in this department who has survived the staff cuts. I can only advise you to do your job well, otherwise I'll have to fire you too, got that?"

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

"I told you there's no 11th flooooor!"

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

"Was that me or did the oven buzzer go off?"

"It looks like they're getting tougher, honey."

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Jelly Fish

"If we want to get across our warnings about the dire consequences of not saving for a future then we need powerful dramatic message!"

"Does the radar make my backside look big?"

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

"Wonderful! The back of my head looks exactly like the back of George Clooney's head."

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

'Yeah, I know, but don't worry, I've scared the living daylights out of him: He'll never spear-fish again...'

Fisherman catches a mine.