Miracle Marvel Gifts

Jesus on the pro water polo circuit.

"I brought two waters. How did you end up with wine?"

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

"Oh my God, the mineral water!"

"Yes, it could only be Jesus! No one else was such a master at cherry pit spitting!"

2021

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

'Your reflexes are still good!'

Tiny Visions

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Noreldo, The Mental Marvel, Reads The Mind Of His Cat, Ned:

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Grimm's Reality Tales.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

Phoenix

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."