Minor Injuries Enthusiast Gifts

"That's one heck of a splinter."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

The hall of bad ideas.

'I know just how you feel.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'No, Mr Zarynski...you've got the hospital gown on backwards.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'Very funny!'

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'I can't turn it off.'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'It's an old work injury.'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

Broken hospital sign.

Rental Car Return. By the way, the airbags worked great!

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!