Minor Injuries Enthusiast Pillows

"That's one heck of a splinter."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

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The hall of bad ideas.

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'I know just how you feel.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'Very funny!'

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'I can't turn it off.'

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

Law Offices: Slip & Trip & Fall formerly Slip & Fall.

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'It's an old work injury.'

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

Paramedic Mistakes.

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

Dr. Mooglum made two mistakes. First, he stuck the stethoscope on the patient's forehead, and secondly, he replaced the end with a suction cup.

'He accidentally brushed his teeth with hemorrhoid-shrinking cream.'

Broken hospital sign.

Sorry, you rolled off the table just as I was going in!

A man hugs a heart-shaped cactus