Miniature Moralist Gifts

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

"For some, minimalism begins at a very early age..."

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"Reverend, if we're born again in Jesus...do we get another belly button?"

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

Knight of the sandcastle.

Child in toy car being pulled by a dog

'I looked, and the Ten Commandments don't say ANYTHING about running with scissors!'

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

"He can't come out to play right now...he's working on his autobiography."

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

'No thanks. This patch stops me craving for superflous functions.'

'That mouse must've been here awhile. he's actually built a driving range outside his hole.'

"I do hope this doesn't affect my life plan."