Miniature Gourmet T-Shirts

'Never, ever give the benefit of doubt to a Brussells sprout.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Too much cilantro

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

The Main Types of Cheese

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

To do before Saturday...

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Cheese

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Holiday Supplies

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'Is this still America?'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Cooking'