Miniature Court Enthusiast T-Shirts

They're class action figures.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

"They're class action figures."

Model Nato Afghanistan Army

Little Tiny Push-Carts

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

Mouse Sidewalk Cafe

'Can Bradley come out and litigate?'

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

"I'd offer you a lift home but..."

Walsh Miniatures

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

Mini Computer

A computer mouse's offspring.

"12 isn't a bad score on the hole. You did stray and some of those windmills are quite tricky!"

The idea for tiny drink umbrellas is conceived.

'It had a happy ending... the guy loses the girl, but finds a good attorney.'

Model of village 'You even have tiny 'for sale' signs on the windows.'

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

The Three Bears - pocket version

Psychologist at Self Esteem Clinic to patient: 'You need to learn to relax more - play some miniature golf.'

"All very impressive, gentlemen...but where are you hoping to find people tiny enough to live in them?"

'I borrowed Timmy's model plane to crop dust the garden.'

Bryant and May match heads

'... and the house prices are still going up.'

'Another breakthrough, Mr. Higbe...A calculator that's too small to use.'

I'm finally done celebrating the State of the Union address. What are you talking about? House of Java.net CyberCafe. Every year after the speech, I drive cross-country and date ladies from every region, and of every race, creed and color. It's my way of spending time with like-minded patriots to celebrate how we're all more similar than we are different. Whether you're in California, the deep south or far-off Hawaii, you're never more than a 2-hour drive from miniature golf. Think about that.

"I've seen him bench-press four rubber tree plants."