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"'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' by Lilia Anya, all rights reserved, which includes the right to reproduce this essay or portions thereof in any form whatsoever, including, but not limited to, novel, screenplay, musical, television miniseries, home vid

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

"I will give you the specimen some other time!"

Wal-Mart Ruling

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Lady Justice.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'