Mini Sports Business Guru Gifts

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

'Pick up Carlson on the end, he's got proven performance data.'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

Hair Style Menu

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

Strikeout Dog

"It's not about win or lose. It's about how much money I'm going to make."

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

'What's the odds on Cheltenham going ahead?'

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

'The champ will make twenty million from this fight, mainly from selling advertising space on his shorts...'

'Hello Biggo Sports Supply? About those bats I ordered.....'

Sports Collectibles: Sorry...No Ball Park Estimates!

"The kid's a natural."

"...and the action figures will have concussions, they'll be on stretchers and wheelchairs..."

'Just remember at the Olympics the finish line has become the bottom line.'

"Just remember, if you give a hundred and ten per cent, I get twenty per cent of that."

'Something tells me he's going to be a basketball player.'

"Want to win?"

'We don't need our own stand. Just have your mom buy all the lemons at the store so we've cornered the market and can name our price!'

"May the best team win and could we please get through this game without some kind of controversy?"

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.

'We're lucky-in our industry when we have poor results we sack the workforce.'

'After much thought and consideration, I've decided to remain as coach of the team in order to spend less time with my family.'

Enough said.

How to handle spin

'I can't find anything against it in the rule book!'

'I used to play football for the love of the game. But now, in the pros, it's all just one big business.'

'Is it true that last year you earned more than the prime minister?'

Andrew tried everything to avoid getting sacked. He tried staying in the pocket. He tried rolling out of the pocket...

'Don't you see, Rick - your slump is just a success neurosis. You found your .394 batting average dangerous, and feared it would bring about resentment.'