Mini Mall Explorers T-Shirts

"We were gonna build a tree house, but with the cost, noise issues and zoning concerns, can you just take us to the mall?"

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Twenty-first century baby walker

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

You are Here. We know where you've been.

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Mall of ages

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

Reality of Parenthood

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"Let's make believe they have to get dressed to go out now because there's a big sale at Bloomingdale's."

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

She left him to go find herself. It only took 20 minutes, which was sort of embarrassing, so she decided to hang out at the mall for a while.

You are what you eat

'You must have something in my size?'

"I don't know...it's just not you."

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Building fund not going well, Reverend?"

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!