Mini Mall Explorers T-Shirts

"We were gonna build a tree house, but with the cost, noise issues and zoning concerns, can you just take us to the mall?"

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Twenty-first century baby walker

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Mall of ages

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"Now hold on just a minute! Salad - fine! Chick flix - fine! But I draw the line on video games!"

TV dinners: regular and widescreen

"Let's make believe they have to get dressed to go out now because there's a big sale at Bloomingdale's."

Reality of Parenthood

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

You are what you eat

'You must have something in my size?'

She left him to go find herself. It only took 20 minutes, which was sort of embarrassing, so she decided to hang out at the mall for a while.

"I don't know...it's just not you."

'We have to move again -- I've worn out all the banks in town.'

"Building fund not going well, Reverend?"