Mall Explorers T-Shirts

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

A Crash-test Dummy child about to have a ride on a car crash test ride in a shopping centre mall.

"So far so good, but when we go to the bathroom it could be a problem. Which bathroom do we use?"

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

Quantum Psychic

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

Island of Lost Guys.

Customer Convention

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

You are Here. We know where you've been.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

Mall 'maze' directory bewilders shopper.

'Would you stop with the Twitter alerts already? I'm standing right behind you.'

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Mall of ages

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."