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Psychoses on tape

"?"Psychoanalysis for Dummies"?

"I blame your parents."

"Can you read my thoughts?"

"Yes, I had to make it uncomfortable. My clients kept falling asleep."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Opening the door to new customers

"You need to stop bottling it up."

Woman applying makeup

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Man and Machine snoozing

''Normal' seems too much to shoot for ... but maybe I can keep you out of the nuthouse.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"Good grief, Wilson! At least act like you're enjoying it! It's for my blog!"

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"Is your regret that there were three of them or that they were blind?"

When psychiatrists do self analysis.

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

'It's my job to be nosy!'

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"My analysis is you're selfie obsessed!"

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'