Milk Sommelier Gifts

"I told you shaken, not stirred."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"He's such a fussy eater."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

A Tit for Tat.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Just the one...

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

Nouveau wine

Timmy Works with His Pet Cow

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"Gotta love happy hour!"

"I'm in the middle of a local wine tasting tour."

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'Are you trying to tell me that neither of you get penalty rates for the 2 a.m feed?'

Take me to your lactator!

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

The Magic Float

"Do you know what kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees."

'I think breast milk is better... It's free, always fresh and the cat can't get to it.'