Military Life Gifts

"I'm trying to forget a 401k."

'I think I liked it better when you two would go into town on leave and get into trouble.'

Soldier's helmet and turtle's shell.

'This is one place in the army where you have to hurry to and they don't keep you waiting!'

"Can I nuke something for you?"

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

The Camp, Pt. 1

A Volunteer Review

'My compliments to the chef - I'm gonna be sick and won't have to pull latrine duty today.'

Christmas package.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Buck private, corporal punishment, general delivery, major disappointment.

If you love attention, this will be your kind of week!

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Servicemen.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

Military Medals

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Trump

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

Monuments

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'I was in the catering corps.'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

'At ease, soldier.'

After defeating terror, George and his friends declare war on mild irritation and clouds.

Lost around a military base.

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"