Army Life Gifts

'Hi Mom, Boot camp is fine, but I think our drill sergeant is hard of hearing. Every time we say something, he yells 'I can't hear you.''

'My compliments to the chef - I'm gonna be sick and won't have to pull latrine duty today.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"Right! Let's break for lunch!. . . . Well don't just stand on ceremony!"

Sgt. throwing mail on private.

Servicemen.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

The Camp, Pt. 1

Nun Binning the Devil

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."

Banting in the Yeomanry

Remounts for the Yeomanry

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

'Here's a field can opener, you may need it to cut yourself out of your tank.'

Soldier.

'Dad, I want to drive an army tank when I'm older.'

Panzer Hut.

Vicar's wife to vicar - "And if you can't be good, be careful!"

'Dang, we're losing a lot of strays.'

Jealous of a statue.

General GI Joe: 'It's about time you were promoted, Joe!'

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

"Ever get the feeling you're in the wrong army?"

Christmas package.

'The General won't be able to make it ,sir -he can't get a babysitter.'