Army Life Gifts

'Hi Mom, Boot camp is fine, but I think our drill sergeant is hard of hearing. Every time we say something, he yells 'I can't hear you.''

'My compliments to the chef - I'm gonna be sick and won't have to pull latrine duty today.'

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

"Right! Let's break for lunch!. . . . Well don't just stand on ceremony!"

Sgt. throwing mail on private.

Servicemen.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Nun Binning the Devil

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

The Camp, Pt. 1

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."

Banting in the Yeomanry

Soldier watering camouflage plants on troops' helmets.

Remounts for the Yeomanry

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

Panzer Hut.

Soldier.

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Here's a field can opener, you may need it to cut yourself out of your tank.'

'Dang, we're losing a lot of strays.'

Vicar's wife to vicar - "And if you can't be good, be careful!"

'Dad, I want to drive an army tank when I'm older.'

Jealous of a statue.

Christmas package.

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”