Military General Pillows

"Munitions. I ordered a shipment of munitions."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

War and War

"The bomb destroys only all life but not object! This means that our troops can have fun plundering and pillaging. War doesn't have to be inhuman, right?"

"'No war' is hell, too."

"I read War and Peace, liked 1/2 of it."

"I had a bad review, so I'm only a 3-1/2 star general."

"Let me assure you, war's not a picnic."

"Sure, you're a dictator, son, but Muriel's boy is an absolute dictator."

'Kill them all and let God sort them out!' is not an adequate exit strategy!

Ariel Sharon

'I think it's about time McFergle retired -- he remembers the Lusitania.'

'I wish you didn't have to bring your work home with you.'

'Forget about National Security for a second... if I'm not home in an hour for dinner, there's going to be some REAL FIREWORKS!'

'You must have misunderstood, dear -- I'm sure they don't sell old generals at government auctions!'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"Interestingly no - these are vastly enlarged images of my three favourite chromosomes."

"Gentlemen, the speed of light is no longer fast enough and your government is counting on you to do something about it."

General Idiocy

Honor Our Future Sacrifices

Say It Ain't So, Ho

"Well, maybe we haven't found any weapons of mass destruction, but you can't deny that we've destroyed a massive amount of weapons."

"I just think you're going to need a better rallying cry than 'Absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence.'"

"It's so-so."

"I'm beginning to feel really good about myself again."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Support the Ex-Troops

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

Neo-International Law

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t