Army Generals Pillows

Army personnel in a tank

'General practitoner'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Servicemen.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'At ease, soldier.'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Honor Our Future Sacrifices

"It's the kind of missile system that says, 'Hey, these peace negotiations aren't really going very well.'"

"Hack back with all you've got!"

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'

"The enemy will never be able to spot our troops in the new camouflage scheme General."

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"This one is for not complaining about stretched too thin handling domestic and foreign crises."

Top Secret - Destroy before reading.

'Walter isn't truly happy unless he's bombing some country.'

"Did you call for a Medic?"

Fridge Magnets/Military Medals

'You know the rules, private - no pets!'