Army General Pillows

General's Coin Toss

"And this one is for being faithful to my wife."

A military leader gleefully describes war to a cowering psychiatrist.

"Our nation hasn't been to war in a hundred years. Where the hell did we get all these medals?"

'Do you get an opportunity to do much military spending, General?'

"Yes your Majesty, we could afford a 99% casualty rate in the battle, just because our troops are so numerous, but it would not be good for troop-morale..."

A military general watches TV on a bomb.

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

'Let's find anothr cafe - I'm not eating in any restaurant that outranks me'

'I think it's about time McFergle retired -- he remembers the Lusitania.'

Army general with a mobile made of medals.

Army general taking an eye test using military medals.

'This one is for staying a hawk, in world full of doves.'

'This one is for blaming any tactical mistakes on 'the fog of war'.'

Missile Fourposter

General admission - Private showing.

'As long as women have sex, they don't need the bomb, General.'

Wars.

'You do realize this means war!'

'I think it's about time McFergle retired -- he remembers the Lusitania.'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

Protecting the Protectors

"Five minutes, General."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

"I probably shouldn't admit this, but when it comes to war I'm just a big baby."

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

"Hon, where's the butter?"

"It's blank because we haven't found a new war yet."

Servicemen.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"