Military Exercises Gifts

'General, I'm prescribing joint military exercises - yoga.'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

A Rifle Competition in the North

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

North Korean missile over Japan

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

'Blue Fox to Swat Team: execute on my count of three and when officer O'Rourke has fastened his bootlace.'

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

Drones, Explained

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

Soldiers Ball at Huntsville, Alabama. Dancing the Virginia Reel

"When it comes to surviving, you're learning from the best."

"Last time I go on a long haul trip"

"I don't care if it is the most realistic World War II simulator game, I still refuse to salute you."

A known problem when doves fly over the barracks.

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

Competition disappears. You'll have the field to yourself!

"Rustle when I call your name and I'll bring your diploma to you."

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

Extreme camouflage

Think hard soldier! When I threw the practice grenade, did you hear me say 'fetch'?

A soldier fills a mortar with champagne

Volunteer field day at Brighton, April 21, 1862

Save the World - Save Your Credit Rating

"You call that a push-up!? My mother can do better. Work it!"

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

March of the Ducklings

'Hey, most climb over, but whatever works for you.'

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'