Military Events Gifts

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

They're Not Just That Into It

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Go! Means NOW!

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Green Balloon

All dressed up and no place to go

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Inhospitality tent.

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.