Military Anniversary Gifts

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

Pearly King and Queen

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Defence Cutbacks.

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

Sermon Applause.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Authorization for the Use of Farce

Employee lays in his 'OUT' box

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"Lemming Boot Camp"

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

"I propose we build a panic room."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

...As we know, Jesus was a carpenter... but I don't think he actually sang on any of their records..."

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Accounts Dept, can I help you?"

Vicar - Virtuous Reality

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

And when I was in the army, my mother sent me 'don't care' packages

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.