Military Anniversary Pillows

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Pearly King and Queen

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Defence Cutbacks.

Sermon Applause.

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I propose we build a panic room."

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

...As we know, Jesus was a carpenter... but I don't think he actually sang on any of their records..."

"Lemming Boot Camp"

Employee lays in his 'OUT' box

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"Accounts Dept, can I help you?"

And when I was in the army, my mother sent me 'don't care' packages

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week