Mileage Miscalculator Gifts

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

Louis-Joseph Gay-Lussac: 'The Limoges conference...study the chemical composition of the atmosphere at high altitudes."

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"You gotta love the mpg we're getting!"

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

"You can make your own mistakes when you can hire your own lawyer."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

'Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.'

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

No Surcharge For Luggage, All Of Which Is Mailed On Tuesdays.

"And to all of you who swore you'd never fly this airline again - welcome back."

Only 5000 miles on the clock!

Air miles rewards.

Skydivers recording their air miles.

Driver Showdown

"You nomads sure deduct a lot of mileage.''

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."

'Duck.'

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

"I notice you've started accumulating miles on different airlines from me."

Driver with Road Toll meter in car yelling 'How many more miles is it??!'

'Am I allowed to sit down if I'm on standby?'