Mileage Collector Gifts

"Book me, seat me, treat me bad."

"I notice you've started accumulating miles on different airlines from me."

'Am I allowed to sit down if I'm on standby?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'It seats two comfortably.'

"So why do you think it's so hard to let others in?"

If traffic signs were used in everyday life...

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

'My mentor and role model was a frequent flyer.'

"I don't know what's so funny. All I asked was whether this was their only flight today."

Baby in Trunk.

"Shoulder work ahead"

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

Traffic Sign

"It's our largest truck...and it comes with a spare car."

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"So tell me what's your sign?"

Why?

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

Climb to Safety in Case of Alien Invasion

Sign warning of animals crossing near Noah's Ark.

Dog in car sitting at a STAY sign.

'Do Not Pass' and 'Gas'.

"I DID follow the signs. It said, 'RAM', so, I rammed it."

"The buck stops here."

A Cowboy moseys along at a Walk sign

"Sure, you're in, but it's not really heavenly until you upgrade to premium Heaven."

Although they knew it had no practical applications, they couldn't help but be jealous of Jeb's shiny new 19-wheeler.