Mileage Hoarder Gifts

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

'That's our mission statement.'

AA Meeting Here Today

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Shoe addict.

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

"Howard may have a few miles on him, but I'm not ready for a trade-in just yet."

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

'No wonder you can't relax! Seven hundred miles in one day!'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

Santa with a bag of toys and a bag of batteries for toys.

'Here's your problem - you need more air in your tires for better gas mileage...'

"Even though I wasn't making a big salary, I always saved ten percent of my messages."

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

'The Bosmans' wedding announcement? Stick it on the fridge so we don't forget about it.'

Ernie, cramming a lifetime's worth of junk into every cupboard, closet and corner of your home makes you a hoarder, not a prepper.

'Yes Ma'am, I do pick up unwanted hives.'

"I lost my hunger a long time ago, but luckily, I found my greed."

Skydivers recording their air miles.

Driver Showdown

'Only 5000 miles on the clock.'

Road, Sky, Land, Radio, You - Next 300 Miles

'Are you eligible to join 'Miser' the high accrue society?'