Mile Marker Master Gifts

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"What's a debenture?"

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

'It was only 500 yds across but as he visualised the GPS blind spot the risks seemed immense.'

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

A very fine vintage

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Attendees Anonymous

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

"If I'm going to be ten tomorrow, does that make me a 'ten' ager?"

"We hope it's just a bug with our new Quantum mainframe."

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

...read the minutes back but skip the part where Mr.Bostock tried to strangle me.