Mile Crusher Gifts

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

Air travel isn't what it used to be.

The middle school mile claims its first victim.

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

Finish line extended 20 miles.

'If you don't mind, my sales manager wanted me to call him the second you took the hook.'

'Well, we made it.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

'Sometimes the boss exerts too much pressure about meeting a project deadline.'

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

'Did you try rebooting?'

"It's make it or break it time. All in favor of breaking it?"

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

Hitting a Brick Wall.

'With this extreme turbulence, the meals really are in flight.'

"Now you've told everyone how importatn you are, would you like an upgrade to first class and a complimentary foot massage?"

"Sorry about that. He doesn't like bikes."

Anders Iniesta

Woman walking through a bakery with blinkers on.

'I've never met a salesperson I didn't like... except, of course, for you people.'

"Can you give me about 5 minutes? I'm about to beat this level!"

Skydivers recording their air miles.

'Where are you headed?' 'Oh, I'm just here for the food.'

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

"No, you can't be anything you want when you grow up. You're a moose."

"Well, after an 18 hour delay what alternative is there?"

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.