Mildew Master Gifts

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Remote control pirate bully

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

TV Chef Cooking Range

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

"Well, we've for the melody down now, but I'm still not sure about the part where it goes, '...and they call the wind Dorcas Schnickelbaum.'"

Michail Glinka

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

"Easy day at school. Spelling was easy as ABC, math was easy as one two three, and music was easy as Do Re Mi."

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

Prince

Giuseppe Verdi

Tetracycline: Bicycle built for 4 organisms.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

'The Trumpet Compulsory.'

Musicians.

Trumpet

A man working on a model airplane

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'How'd you get out of time-out??. . . Dude, if you do the crime, you do the time.'

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

Germ Home

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'What can we do for you?' - 'I need a song removed from my mind.'