Midweek Humorists Gifts

Monday: Next 7 exits.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"It's just the usual Wednesday crowd."

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"He doesn't have to worry about his preschool placement - he interviews well."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

Whale Pattern Balding

Typical Monday

Same Sexless Marriage

'Why, first thing on Monday mornings, do I always get someone who can't enunciate very well?'

Carol singers at Anagram Company singing 'Listen Thing' instead of 'Silent Night'.

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

"I get it- the old caffeinated-cop, decaffeinated-cop routine."

'Well, I'm home for the weekend - shall we have the row now or later?'

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

"I was celebrating Hump Day and ended up with Throw-Out-Your-Back Thursday."

'His music teacher says he has Van Gogh's ear for music.'

"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

"No,he's got Thursday night fever, you get everything cheaper midweek.."

'...well it's about to be a midriff crisis.'

"Orders from the top say that we all have to come in at the weekend to attend a seminar on managing a healthy 'work/life balance.'"

"Ever since Harry found his expiration date, he's been going through a mid-shelf-life crisis."

The over-40 workout

Non handicapped parking only.

'He's trying to figure out how to install a snooze alarm.'