Midnight Mocha Mixer T-Shirts

"It's 8 a.m. somewhere."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

City Marathon.

Margarita

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

Sermon on the Grounds...

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"

'Shaken, not stirred.'

'..and one for the pot.'

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

"I asked you if you wanted to come to the gym, not if you would make me a gin..."

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

Trolley Queen

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

'I think it's time we left...'

"That's just the booze listening."

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'I can drink beer, wine or liquor. I'm a 'hybrid.''

"Bloody Cyclops!"

"Ah-sod it! I think I'll get a takeaway instead..."

Women drinking breakfast martinis.

"Sorry, there's no room in here. Howard always overbooks our cocktail parties."

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

I've never been in here before. What's your best drink? That'd be the Gambler's Mocha. Sounds interesting. What's in it? Oh … a little of this, a little of that. For all you know, it's a smooth blend of hand-mixed Amedei Porcelana dark chocolate from Tuscany ... and Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee beans, hand-picked by sherpas 5,000 feet above sea level precisely at sunset ... topped with a light whip of frozen Arctic sea foam, and black diamond cream from Dubai ... for all you know ... Or it coul

"Name your poison, dearie."

Mr. Peanut sauced.

Fall Classic

'We need more change around here, so I put your coffee in a tea cup and my tea in a coffee mug.'