Midlife Musings Fan Pillows

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"Think, man! Think! How did you get this old so fast?!"

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

ZZZZZZZ Top

'Man...You age great!'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"Remember that, honey? Serious testosterone."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"This next one's for you, babe."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

Stuff nervous little dogs yap about.

"And so one could say that my work examines art as an expression of objecthood where the object is neither the art nor the object but rather the practice of intentionality."

How's your midlife crisis going, Al? That turned out to be a false alarm, doctor. Today after a heavy lunch I realized it's just a midriff crisis.

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'No pep, shaky, noisy, overheating. Right. Anything wrong with the car?'

'Rock of Ages'

"I've decided to start groaning every time I have to move my body a little bit."

Old Vampire with false teeth.

"I can't go to our high school reunion, no one will recognize me...Hell, I don't recognize me!"

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"In layman's terms, I just rewound your biological clock."

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

'Dave's really over-reacting about turning forty.'

Blackbeard needed help living up to his name.

'I'm not that concerned about my prostate ... I'm still trying to survive my wife's menopause.'

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!