Midlife Motivator Pillows

"Walter has decided to add years to his life."

"Your contents have shifted."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Rock and Roll

"I'm here for the hair."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You want to grow a ponytail? OK...as long as it's not from hair growing out of your ears."

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

How Gary got his groove back.

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

Tragedy and Remedy.

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"