Middle-class Enthusiast Pillows

"Give us this day our daily gluten-free sliced white ciabatta."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

Mid-century Father

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

"I'd like to make a return."

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

Jack Kerouac

". . . And you thought last month's sales figures just happened?"

Yesh Atid

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

She went as far as she could to get away from the paperwork.

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."

"I'm finally at a point where I learned I don't need to please my nutritionist and trainer."

You've got mail...

'This doesn't leave much room for creativity.'

"I would rather you not email me your answer!"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you for reading the newspaper."

'Gosh, look mummy, a shampoo named after us!'

Private Phone Calls

"When I was your age we didn't play video games or take photos or locate things - we just did one thing and we took our sweet time doing it."

'How about having a boys night out we'll take ourselves to the cleaners.'

Death stalks an old man

"Shall I let your wife know you're home, or do you both like surprises?"

'You're obsessed with the bottom line. I like that in an employee!'

'If you wear 3-D glasses, it makes their indifference to anything but the bottom line see more lifelike.'

"As a protest against the tyranny of technology, I refuse to upgrade my phone."