Middle-class Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Give us this day our daily gluten-free sliced white ciabatta."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Do you know what I miss? - Chalk talks!'

Mid-century Father

Peace on Earth

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"I'd like to make a return."

After thirty years of hard work, Tom was beginning to get a little upset with the ball and chain forced upon him.

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

Yesh Atid

". . . And you thought last month's sales figures just happened?"

Jack Kerouac

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

The Recovery

'Gosh, look mummy, a shampoo named after us!'

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."

"I'm finally at a point where I learned I don't need to please my nutritionist and trainer."

She went as far as she could to get away from the paperwork.

You've got mail...

'This doesn't leave much room for creativity.'

"I would rather you not email me your answer!"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you for reading the newspaper."

Private Phone Calls

"When I was your age we didn't play video games or take photos or locate things - we just did one thing and we took our sweet time doing it."

'If you wear 3-D glasses, it makes their indifference to anything but the bottom line see more lifelike.'

'You're obsessed with the bottom line. I like that in an employee!'

Death stalks an old man

'How about having a boys night out we'll take ourselves to the cleaners.'

"Shall I let your wife know you're home, or do you both like surprises?"