Microbe Laugh Seeker Pillows

"Look, baby, I haven't much time. I'm only a twenty-four virus, you know."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

Bad fake tan day.

"That'll be five bucks."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'Ben just fired my ten guage goose gun. He should be coming back this way any minute now.'

"What did Jesus order?"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

When clowns are hunting.

"Projectile hairballing."

Drunk Barber

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

'When Johhny told everyone he was going to be a comedian they all laughed...'

"Hey! Get back here!"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Jerk Gene

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Football heads...

"I've always wanted to do this - 'knock, knock...who's there?'"

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

A great new year (for cartoonists).

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

Bald Man Overcomb

"Ok. . . who added the yellow?"

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

Comedy Store - Canned Laughter delivery.