Micro-event Enthusiast Pillows

"I think you should all consider yourself very fortunate to be here considering how few seats there are for this event."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"Oh, he's so romantic."

Girl who had a bowl of trifle spilt over her dress at her court presentation party the night before

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Fascinator

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

'I'm afraid we had to cancel the 'perfect planning' seminar. By the time we got around to booking the hotel was full and speaker we hoped to use died in 1967...'

The trouble is not with your set -- Bill O'Reilly has finally just gone completely around the bend.

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

"At an event some chick publicly badmouthed my husband. I didn't run on stage to knock the lady down because she was right."

Virtual Mayday Parade in Cuba

"Just a signature and my alimony check."

Bio Lab. This powerful microscope has complete changed the way I look at life!

'Come in, you're not the first to arrive.'

'Them...? That's our multi-level marketing crowd...'

Olympic Catering: 'A small coffee please.'

'And now a quick glance at tonight's top news stories.... Yikes!'

"I wanted you to meet our colon specialist before we miniaturized him."

"This just in: we're doomed."

'She's just ring through - held up at the hairdressers.'

'There is always the chance that you won't be invited.'

The Government That Cried Wolf

'Welcome to St Judes Summer Fayre' full of cannabis related items

'There's no easy way for me to tell you this Brad, so I'll just say it... I'm... I'm pregnant.'

Europe-migration

Please wait to be vetted