Michelin-star-wannabe T-Shirts

"Did you just say Michael Pollan? Oh my god, I love Michael Pollan!"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

A smiling man leaning on large piggy bank.

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Tom Cruise

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

As Seen On TV

'No, I'm not a connoisseur, but I do have a website.'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Everyone in Tinseltown deserves 15 minutes of obscurity.

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

"There comes a time, Little Buddy, when you have to just accept that you'll never be famous....that your life will never be adapted for television and that when you die, only five or six people will truly care."

"I think we're ready for the big move up from shed band to full garage band."

'Ooh, look! A shooting star. Make a wish.'

"I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill."

Your Ticket to Fame and Fortune...sold out.

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

'Trust me, kids. Everything tastes better at the ballpark.'

'Amazing - No sooner do we invent cooking than we get the first celebrity chef.'

'Thank you. Do you mind if I spray it about like they do on tv?'

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

'Selma never had a lesson in her life. She picked up all that noise on her own.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but you have a tentative offer from Burma-Shave.

'Jon likes to think he's 'rock 'n' roll'.'