Mic-wielding Mastermind Gifts

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

"Gabe's in the Guitar Hero program at Juilliard."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Derren Brown: Pushed to the Edge

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

Eager to pull a prank on his chiropractor, Dennis taped a bag of potato chips to the small of his back.

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

The World's Most Evil Mastermind (and a man sitting in a chair).

The Staff Meeting.

'Managers karaoke night'

Journalist interviewing a bird.

'The curious incident of the dig in the night-gown.'

Elevator dilemma.

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

Frankie Boyle

'Every year was the same. There was always some clown or comedian in Brian's intake of pupils.'

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

"So typical. Hurry up and wait."

Commercial music

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

Raising the Flag on Iwo Jima

"How about this? The story of a little reindeer whose exclusion from reindeer games led to the study of math and science, enabling him to develop levitation tech and thus eliminate the need for flying reindeers, thereby consigning his early tormentors to

"To save time, Dr. Nuclear, we ask that you stop following every correct answer with a bout of maniacal laughter."

"There's good news and bad news. The good news is, I've made a generous contribution to your leaving present."

"I have mess recognition. I show my messy room and my phone knows it has to be me."

"I'm up to my neck at the moment, can I get back to you?"

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

'Three iron.'

All quiet in MoneyLaunderingCo whilst the men dispute the ironing roster.

'I got to get home quick to hack the principal's email to my dad.'

'Looked fine with one head. Besides, two heads are better than one is such a cliche.'