Metropolis Aficionado T-Shirts

Welcome signs 'New York, please have your money ready'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"We won!"

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

Child's Drawing (With Elephantiasis)

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

King Kongs first christmas

'Greenwich in the Season'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

"Outré or simply bad?"

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

'You're no Pollock.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

"Is that all you can say - 'It's not messy'?"

"Is this 'pollocks'."

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

Netsukes of New York.

Millais - Cubist Period

Jackson Pollock.

Leaving New York

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

"I suffer for my art..."

Lacks Structure and Meaning

Jimmy Mussolini With "Leon""Precious I cannot be. One more allusion to Gilgamesh and I'll trash out. I make mistakes, just like you, every day. This may be one of them. I'll take the money and walk."

Band of Grenadiers on Tower Green.

'It's from my strange-but-not-as-strange-as-I-am-now period.'

"I crop-circle NY" t-shirt.

"It's called 'White with a hint of Magnolia"

"These self-honking cars make it so much easier to focus on driving."

"I got the idea when I accidentally dropped a tin of paint on a canvas, and some idiot offered me £5,000 for it!"

"I could do that."