Metric Measurement Muser Gifts

The Why-Can't-This-Event-Be-In-Miles-Like-Other-Sports-In-This-Country 10K

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'I think the professor is trying out the theory of relativity... trying to make time fly!'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

God's map of the universe

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

"But am I happy? Very."

"I love it....but lose the bodies"

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Whatever ran over the poor guy really left some marks. Tape measure.

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

'Are you SURE we're not allowed to telecommute?'

"He was a prolific writer who made a lot of mistakes and eventually lost his mind. It all sounds so pointless."

"Oh dear, I'm terrible with names."

"I am sorry to inform you that you are displaying early signs of senile dimensiona Mr Johnson."

'I thought you said 36 inch neck and 16 inch sleeve.'

'What a beautiful landscape!'

'The lack of money is the root of all evil.'

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

'Twelve ounces in a pound - what do you want to be, boy, a butcher?'

'Perhaps one of you gentlemen would mind telling me just what it is outside the window that you find so attractive?'

Man climbs to the mountaintop for answers where a mirror awaits.

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

'I don't know -- the Meaning of Life just doesn't seem relevant any more.'