Metaphor Mender T-Shirts

"Nation-building never works."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Poetry repairman

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'So push has come to shove...'