Metaphor Mender Gifts

The poetry repair shop

"Nation-building never works."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

Couples' therapy

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Remember, the road to recovery begins with baby steps."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'It's a sad case -- amnesia AND identity theft.'

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

Poetry repairman

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

"We'll soon have you sorted out, Mr. Fenton."

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

'We were so attracted to each other - now we're just poles apart'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'So push has come to shove...'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."