Metaphor Maniac T-Shirts

'Get a hold of yourself, O'Toole - There's no reason to bite the man's head off!'

'C'mon! Visit me on the web!'

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Eighteen

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'We come in peace. Unless, of course, you have stuff that we want.'

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"Wow! - Do all Earth people look as tasty as YOU do?"

Addiction to mobile.

"This invasion is gonna be a piece of cake. Look, they're already surrendering."

Love Hurts

"Advertising is a simple business, Nathan. Always remember that less is more, except, of course, for those situations where less is actually less."

Clinton's book promotion: "Even if just his old girlfriends buy it, we'll make millions."

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

The Fishbowl Dynasty

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

Lox Ness Monster

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'

"An ark with a 'K', you idiot!"

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

I Told You To Compost It!

Don't Worry, Buddy I've Got Your Back!

'Look, more Unidentified Gawping Objects.'

An elevator door opens to reveal rows of teeth

'What do you call a vampire that you can dip into your tea?...Count Dunkula!'