Metalhead Spirit Pillows

And then, right in the middle of a Warrant/Winger double bill, Rob Myers becomes the first person in history to actually have his socks rocked off.

Support Group for a Good Problem

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Motorherd

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

"Peach fuzz. How does a nectarine know when it reaches puberty?"

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

'Forget whale song, I'm giving them some death metal.'

Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a chocolate bunny at his easter concert.

Fuzz - there's a rumor about the band that we only play Metallica covers...

Now play some Metallica!

'Uruguayan? - No, he's from Scotland.'

Santa Metal Claus

Football tournament fever during office hours.

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

'I Marianne, promise to see all of your games in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer until death do I watch.'

Dog Teenagers

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Heavy Metal Scrap Merchants.

'We realise that your speciality is heavy metal...'

Born to be Wild

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

'What's the name of our new mascot again?' 'Mopey.'

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'